Money cannot buy happiness but somehow, it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle。

金钱不能买到幸福，不过，坐在奔驰车里哭总比坐在自行车后座上哭要来的舒坦些。

Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name。

宽恕你的敌人—— 但千万记住那些混蛋的名字。

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again。

当他人身处困境时伸出援手，他就会在下次遇到困难时又记起你。

Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them。

许多人活着，是因为开枪杀他们违法而已。

Alcohol does not solve any problem, but them neither does milk。

酒精并不解决任何实际问题，不过要这么说的话，牛奶不也一样么。

这些名言虽然比较”损“，不过，如果用的到位，会增加口语的诙谐感，也能带来意想不到的收效。